Week 7 - Leap Year Proposal

Welcome to Week 7 in our ’52 Rituals/Traditions in 52 Weeks’

This week, given that we are in a leap year and I’m sure many of you have been hearing lots of wonderful stories about the tradition of leap year proposals, as we have, we thought we would do a little post about this age old tradition which is widely known and definitely a favourite. In Anglo-Saxon times it was considered to be very lucky if a couple married in a leap year. It was especially lucky if the woman herself had proposed in that leap year.

The 29^th day of February every four years in a leap year sees every woman have the right to propose to the man she would like to marry. (I wish brad Pitt had been somewhere close by). This tradition goes back many hundreds of years to a time when the leap year day actually had no recognition in English law. It was considered that the day was simply 'lept over' and ignored, which obviously coined the term 'leap year'.

Given that there was absolutely no recognition of the day It was considered, therefore, that as it had no legal status, it was reasonable then to assume that traditions also had no status.

As a consequence, the many women who were desperately concerned about becoming spinsters and being 'left on the shelf' took advantage of this and proposed to the man they wished to marry.

It was also widely accepted that since the leap year day corrected the discrepancy between the calendar year of 365 days and the time taken for the Earth to complete one orbit of the sun (being 365 days and 6 hours), this was an opportunity for the women of the world to correct a tradition that was one-sided and unjust.

An old rhyme refers to tradition:

“Happy they’ll be that wed and wive,

Within leap year, they’re sure to thrive.”

There is actually a document from Scotlandthat states that women were thereafter allowed to propose marriage to the man of their choice in a leap year. If a man dared to decline a woman’s proposal on this day he would be required to pay a fine which could possibly range from a simple kiss to the more costly gift of a silk dress or pair of gloves.

So ladies, we hope you al had a wonderful February 29^th and to those of you who stood up courageously and proposed we wish you all of the good luck that hundreds of years of history has promised.

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Sylvia and Boniface Ngonyani

Wedding Bells all the way to Songea... beautiful bride Sylvia tied the knot with her lovely groom Boniface...

Sylvia looked beautiful with a dress from Wedding Bells

...the lovely couple works @ TANESCO in Moshi town and their wedding was in Songea... 

May the Almighty give you joy, good health and a lots of love to one another 

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Shout Your Love From the Rooftops (now known as the Internet)!

Another blogger contacted me with this very interesting article and I thought it fun to post it here as well: 

Once upon a time, those who fell in love wanted to “shout it from the rooftops.” In today’s society, proclaiming your love far and wide is quite simple: a few keystrokes and a click, and everyone knows that you’re off the market. Here are ten ways to shout your love from the virtual rooftops, informing the world that you’ve found the One.

1. Changing Your Facebook Relationship Status – These days, the quickest way to let friends, family and acquaintances know that you’re in love is to change your relationship status. When you click that “In A Relationship” radio button, everyone in your circle will be notified that you’re no longer available.
2. Hashtagging a Tweet – If you want to reach a wider audience, you can’t go wrong with the Twitter hashtag. Searches for a specific tag will send users that you’ve never met to your feed when your hashtag is in the results.
3. Updating Your MySpace Profile – For those who are truly committed, nothing says, “I love you” like blowing the dust off that old MySpace profile to update your relationship status. If you want to be sure that all of your bases are covered, this is a great way to get your point across.
4. Deleting a Dating Site Profile – If you met your newly beloved on a dating site or even if you simply have a profile floating around in cyberspace, deleting that baby is a sure-fire way to show your commitment.
5. YouTube – There are millions of videos on YouTube, and a significant chunk of them are vlogs dedicated to the besotted. Creating your own vlog post for YouTube will send news of your love affair flitting around the globe in no time.
6. Tumblr – When it comes to microblogging, Tumblr has the market cornered. Because the site allows sharing of text, pictures and music, creating a fully immersive love-letter experience on Tumblr is a snap.
7. Penning a Blog Entry – If you’re more of a traditionalist, skip the microblogging and go for broke with an entry to your blog dedicated to your lover and their many charms.
8. Facebook Wall Posts – A well-chosen song posted on your lover’s wall via YouTube or a carefully selected quote can brighten their day, and let everyone on their friends list know that you’re mad about them.
9. Status Updates – Our society is obsessed with documenting our every move for Facebook status updates; why not post one celebrating your new love? Tagging your significant other in the update will let all of their friends see it as well, reaching a wider audience.
10. Relationship Forums – There are forums dedicated to those who are in love, allowing them space to gush about their beloved to like-minded members. Joining up gives you an outlet for all that emotion, but keeps your friends and family from being tempted to block your Facebook posts because they’re tired of hearing about your love life.

Love makes us do crazy things, but it’s important to remember the basic guidelines for online safety. Posting real names or pictures on forums or other places where strangers can access your words might not be wise; choose your content carefully if your blog or other medium has open access.

Michelle Obama in Vera Wang

So gorgeous!! my two favorite women in the world.... Michelle Obama ndani ya Vera Wang dress...

First Lady Michelle Obama wore a Custom Vera Wang Strapless cobalt tulle gown, draped and feathered organza accents to the 34th annual Kennedy Center Honors

Unique Wedding Dresses

We have sifted through the unique, weird and plain ugly wedding dresses on the internet to bring you our top picks - enjoy!

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Please note: These photographs have been compiled from numerous sources including Facebook posts and other web pages. These photographs are not the property of The Wedding Guru's. If you would like any information on contacting the owner of a particular photograph we would be happy to assist.

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To Live Together or Not Live Together, That is the Question!

Mary Edwards, the author of BestDatingSite.org blog, contacted me and told me she followed my blog and alerted me to this article reproduced below that she just posted because she thought I might be interested in putting it on my blog. She is correct. Thank you, Mary. I think it is thought provoking and informative.  The majority of couples "cohabitate" these days and the prevailing opinion about living together has been that it is not a good "test drive" for marriage. I don't know the source of that opinion but it has been around for at least 20 years and I, for one, do question that conclusion. I believe that living together can be a revealing experience to a couple and brings to light many character traits, styles and habits that may or may not be "deal-breakers" to a relationship. Although there is no guarantee that living together will lead to tying the knot and although living together first is not necessary to creating a fulfilling marriage, it can be valuable in assessing the compatibility of the partners if the couple's moral standards or religious beliefs do not preclude this arrangement. The premarital counseling/coaching that I offer my couples does include discussion of how cohabitation has affected the relationship and in most instances of those many couples who do my program, I find that it is perceived as a positive experience for them.

Making the leap from dating to cohabitation can be daunting; on top of trying to combine two lives worth of belongings into one space, there’s the added tension of wondering if you’ll even be able to get along. Before you sign that lease, here are ten ways you can test your compatibility.

1. Go On Vacation – Take a trip together, preferably a road trip. Being in such close quarters while you travel and sharing a small hotel room will give you a decent idea of each others’ habits, and an opportunity to have a long discussion.
2. Visit the Family – It’s almost impossible to be anything but yourself when visiting the parents. Take turns spending holidays or special occasions with your separate families; in addition to seeing each others’ true colors, you can also get a feel for future gatherings as a couple.
3. Extended Sleep Overs – Spending one or two nights a week together won’t provide a clear picture; before moving in to a shared space, it’s a good idea to spend at least two weeks in the same house. Because you’re both likely to still be on your best behavior, if you’re ready to tear your hair out within a few days, you might want to rethink moving in.
4. Talk About Where You Want to Live – One of the most important decisions you’ll make as a couple starting a life together is where to live. Will one of you move into the home the other already has? If so, will that person be able to shelve possessive tendencies of the space? Many couples opt to find a new place together to avoid this, but if it isn’t feasible for your relationship, you’ll need to be aware of how much adding a new person to a home will change it.
5. Have a Long Discussion About Finances – Though wanting to avoid discussions about a possible breakup is natural, it’s important to talk about how it would affect you financially if you’re living together. If you’re planning to get a new home together, it’s a good idea to be sure that one person can afford to keep it should you break up. Also, you’ll need to be aware of each other’s spending habits to avoid future fights over money.
6. Get a Joint Checking Account – Opening a joint checking account can be a great way to learn each other’s financial habits. It might be best to keep a relatively small balance at first, since it’s a financial experiment of sorts.
7. Wait a While – Even if you think you’re ready, wait a bit longer to move in. The longer that you’re together but living separately, the more time you’ll have to get accustomed to one another. Habits and pet peeves that would rear their heads early in a cohabiting relationship might take much longer to discover otherwise.
8. Know Where You Both Stand on Marriage – Some couples view cohabitation as test-driving marriage, while others see it as the end of the commitment line. Often, people hesitate to bring up the subject for fear of scaring the other person away, but if you’re committed enough to consider living together, this shouldn’t be an issue. If one of you would like to one day get married, while the other has no desire to formalize a relationship, it will only lead to trouble down the line. You should both know exactly what your plans are before you pack the first box.
9. Make Some Rules – No matter how much you love one another, living together is still an arrangement. Deal-breakers should be discussed openly to avoid unpleasant surprises down the line. Remember, getting out of an unsuitable relationship is exponentially more difficult after you’ve moved in together.
10. Talk About What You Can Part With – Unless you both have an unlimited income, you’re probably not going to be able to afford a space large enough for both of you to keep everything you own. He might have to part with the futon he’s had since college, she might need to sell her extensive porcelain doll collection. One of the conversations you should definitely have is what you can stand to part with and what is absolutely part of the package.

While these tips will help you go into cohabitation with a bit more information, it’s important to realize that there really are no sure-fire methods for learning each others’ quirks before moving in. Some things won’t come to light until the honeymoon period ends, which can take months. Be prepared to learn new and sometimes surprising things about your mate each and every day after you start sharing living quarters.

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Slide Show of a Splendid Wedding

The photos in this slide show are courtesy of Michael J. Charles.

I hope you enjoy the show as much as we did. What a lovely wedding, and great photos.

Thank you to Elizabeth and Jack for providing this link and the permission to use it.

 Juli

Photo slide show from Michael J. Charles Photography of Hawthorne Hotel Wedding

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